he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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