And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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