A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize
