maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
