I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
