What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
