Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
