Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
