cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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