Jerry, you need to find god
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
