I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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