it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
