Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
