I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
