oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
