Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Drake has all the answers
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
