i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
