we're blogging at a bar
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
