If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
These tits shall not be calmed
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
