Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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