I have demons in me.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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