i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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