everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
