living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
