Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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