I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
