just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
