My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
