Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
