I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
