I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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