I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
