K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
