Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
