hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
