before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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