at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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