sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
