Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
