So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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