i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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