I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
