You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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