Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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