I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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