i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
