And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
