So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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