if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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