Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
