I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
