His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
