Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
